Recovery from Religious Abuse

What happens to individuals who have been psychologically abused and morally betrayed by fundamentalist cultic religious groups? How can they recover from the damage done? Physically leaving such a group is relatively easy, but the emotional and psychological departure can take months or even years.

The religiously abused frequently suffer from emotional and psychological problems. I believe that it is time that our society recognizes and deals with religious abuse as a social-psychological disorder in itself.

Generally, a person who breaks involvement with a dysfunctional group will encounter the following problems:

• Depression - the product of group-induced self-doubt and self-blame.
• Isolation and loneliness - the shock of crossing the barrier from one social environemnt to another.
• Impairment of decision-making and other intellectual skills.
• Difficulty in talking about group involvement - often related to strong feelings of guilt, fear, and bitterness.
• Interpersonal difficulties - communication, expression, making new friends, organized activities, dating, emotional and physical intimacy, etc. Recent walk aways are frequently mistrustful and suspicious of other people and groups.

So, how does one recover? How does a person heal the wounds of religious abuse? Hopefully, within a caring and understanding new social setting. This can be a family, a support or therapy group, or an organized community such as a mainstream church. It should also be done with patience and the consideration that recovery will take time and effort. The following are some ideas for persons who have walked away from religious abuse and who are on the road to reclaiming their lives.

• Work towards trusting yourself and relying on your own abilities.
• Put your experience down in writing. This will help you to evaluate, understand, and cope with your past involvement in the abusive group.
• Get in touch with other people who have gone through similar experiences, either one-on-one or in a support group.
• Find a hobby or pastime to reinforce a positive sense of accomplishment.
• Handle decisions, tasks, and relearning of interpersonal skills one step at a time. Don't rush yourself, talk and think things over, and don't be afraid if you make mistakes - we all do!
• Be more willing to help people as you go along. This builds up self-esteems and exercises your problem-solving skills.
• Take a breather from organized religion for about three to nine months, at least. Deal with your questions about religion, ethics, and philosophy in an honest and challenging manner.

Remember, you are no longer a victim but a survivor!